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Kill Myself to Death

from Look Both Ways Before You Die by Team Smile and Nod

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about

Kill Myself to Death is an electro anti-folk pop song that humorously goes through various ways of suicide as a way to cope with the death of a loved one.

lyrics

my mother died in a movie theater
her favorite place to escape from life
my mother died in a movie theater
and i wish and i wish and i wish and i wish
and i wish, that i could join her

so i planned and i scammed
but i can’t, so i won’t
so i tried, but i cried
so i can’t, so i won’t
if i could, then i would
but i can’t, so i won’t
so i’m here, its so clear
cuz i can’t and i won’t
kill myself to death
kill myself to death.

a gun would make it nice and fast
but i’d need a license and a bunch of cash
i could drive off a cliff and explode with a crash
that’d be shame cuz i almost have my car paid off.

so i planned and i scammed
but i can’t, so i won’t
so i tried, but i cried
so i can’t, so i won’t
if i could, then i would
but i can’t, so i won’t
so i’m here, its so clear
cuz i can’t and i won’t
kill myself to death
kill myself to death.

i could drink and drink and drink and drink and drink
it’s so socially acceptable
drink and drink and drink and drink and drink
it’s so socially acceptable
but then i have to pee
and then i get hungry
and then i eat and eat and eat
and the i pass out asleep
not dead
sound asleep
not dead

so i planned and i scammed
but i can’t, so i won’t
so i tried, but i cried
so i can’t, so i won’t
if i could, then i would
but i can’t, so i won’t
so i’m here, its so clear
cuz i can’t and i won’t
kill myself to death
kill myself to death.

i could overdose like a real rock star
found in a corner with a needle in my arm
then i’d rise the charts of the popular scene
a mega famous rebel idol for preteens
i’d be a star
but i’d be dead
a mega star
and very dead.

so i planned and i scammed
but i can’t, so i won’t
so i tried, but i cried
so i can’t, so i won’t
if i could, then i would
but i can’t, so i won’t
so i’m here, its so clear
cuz i can’t and i won’t
kill myself to death
kill myself to death.

in summary, i don’t really wish to die
it’s just sometimes i feel alone
and i miss oblivion and i miss my mom
so i guess i’ll settle for a slow and miserable
hypocritical, fantastic, beautiful
joyful, mystical, love filled, lyrical
surprising, delighting, exciting, and magical
death called life
i’ll settle for a death called life
every breath closer to death called life
every breath...life.

credits

from Look Both Ways Before You Die, released November 8, 2008

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Team Smile and Nod Columbus

Team Smile and Nod is an electro folk pop duo from Columbus, Ohio that formed in 2004. About a week after swapping demo CDs, Rich Ratvasky (artist-producer) surprised Kara E. Sherman (singer-songwriter) with a remix of one of her songs. Inspired by the remix, they merged their musical styles into an upbeat, melody-driven, politically-inspired fusion. ... more

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